Campaign Bad Decisions

What's Happened to Isha since the Wedding?
A recap for ishas

At the wedding, Xander attacked Anya and Helorie, temporarily eating Helorie’s soul. This made Anya destroy the universe, sending her to the beginning of time, where she eventually manifested her soul and discovered that her soul was the universe and she was the Starry One. After several billion years she finally arrived back in the present time and continued her fight against Xander, saving Helorie’s soul. Xander, badly weakened, tried to flee, but Maelys arrived in the nick of time and imploded Xander. Maelys became a goddess, and for unknown reasons Illiam also became a god. Xander’s invasion was a true failure. Later Illiam made Jiro from his and Xander’s combined DNA, and Sasha as a clone of Xander. He mourned his beloved Xander and tried his best to reorganize hell into destroying the universe as Father’s ally. Meanwhile, though suffering due to the loss of his son, Sebastian agreed to become Maelys’s exarch.
The orphanage was finally built over the summer and Isha spent much time there, getting everything ready. When school started back up, it was revealed that Alix had been resurrected and was back at school. There were some protests between those who opposed the new freedom for robots and the robots themselves, and the kobolds, long enslaved by dragons in the Dragonlands, joined their protest as allies but eventually were counter-protested by Dragons who saw this as the natural order. The protests went on for several weeks, and Nadir and Sol were allies of the kobolds’ cause and met some new friends.
The animal club had a conflict with one of the robots, Lebar Kurim, who had been sold the Jubjub bird but who had the bird stolen from him by Jeh. He wanted either his bird or his 100,000 gp adoption fee back. Sol offered to help him and in the end the animal club was forced to sell its dinosaurs. The positions of vice-president and animal welfare chair were open for students who wished to take them, and Isha could have one of those positions if you wanted him to. Lebar settled for 50,000 gp and a T-Rex named Betsy, his new companion.
Later that semester there was that one session you went to, and shortly after the campus was consumed by the fear of infection from Illthid parasites, which were implanted into people’s head by the Father Club. Isha was seen working on the student health center to remove the parasites from the heads of the students. Later, the infection was cured via powerful magic and the bullshit artifact that is- the Deck of Many Things.
Due to Deck of Many Things abuse, theft, and plot, many people ended up ascending to godhood, generally people who were related to current gods. They included Dr. Checkers (for who knows what reason), Jeh, Alix, Sol, Elian, and Isha. In addition, Illiam was convinced by Maelys that if he helped them and joined his side, she would bring back Xander to him.
After much inner struggle and thought, Illiam accepted this offer and Xander was brought back to him after months of pain. However, Naven was not fully their ally. Four beings known as the Riders of the Apocalypse or just the Riders, mighty servants of Father, were summoned by Illiam shortly after Xander’s death and after Illiam turned his back on Father, these powerful Riders sought to control Naven. The planet is now half under Rider control and half under the control of the Imperial government. In addition, Xander has experienced much trauma due to being tortured constantly while dead, for a period of time he describes as “a single moment and yet an eternity”. Illiam wants to do his best to help his husband recover.
Elian moved in with Maelys and Kalev moved out of Maelys’s godzone, where he stayed for many months, basically doing nothing and flooding the place with wolves. That zone became a hotspot for collaboration and meetings on the plans to take out the Riders.
Isha and Nadir got an invitation from a kindly old woman for them, their children, and all the orphans to attend the opening night of her new circus and get a backstage tour of all the things in the circus. However, it turned out her dreams of the world’s greatest circus were sabotaged by her sinister ringmaster, who with mind control made everyone enter an imaginary world while her cronies loaded them onto a spaceship to be sent to Naven to be soldiers in the army of Conquest, one of the Riders, focusing on mind control. Through quick thinking, Alix, Mesembria, Sol, and Jeh managed to stop the ringmaster and turn the spaceship around. Alix and Sol decided to stay on Naven, fighting the Riders, while they created non-god versions of themselves to attend school and go on adventures as normal.
Nadir and the new Anti-Father club went on a two-week adventure to Zharn during the period when the previous king of Zharn was killed. They were there eradicating a Father Cult, and managed to destroy the cult with minimal loss of life, though the cult did try to kill the entire campus of students. Orred announced that Valana would be the new eternal King of Zharn (the ruler of Zharn is always a King, regardless of gender).
Because of this Alix and Sol went on a quest to take down Elolei, and managed to do so by catching her extremely off guard and with the help of Thistle, a unicorn necromancer who was put in Elolei’s Horse Jail for crimes against Horsemanity and Dark Horse Magick. Thistle became a god because of this. They then attempted to free Orred from his mother’s mind control, and finally managed to do so via a long and beautiful journey into Orred’s psyche.
Recently, Talrus once again tried to invade the city of Kirov and other cities. He did so this time by sending aquatic trolls, aquatic giants, and giant fish monsters. While the gang went to fight them, Ekaterina was kidnapped by an evil child who was a Talrus follower, and part of the group went to rescue her. They brought back three children, Snowflake, Frostbite, and the third child, Lenia. The evil child, Illva was taken to moon jail, which is no longer on the moon, but Helorie is honestly wondering if it’s ethical to put kids in jail, even if they did turn people into rabbits.
Finally, the eggs hatched. Anya and Helorie’s kids, Dmitri and Pyotr, have been unleashed upon this world. May Isha help us all.

New Gods, in Order of Newness:
-Maelys (Exarch: Sebastian)
-Dr. Checkers, for who knows what reason
-Isha (though he didn’t yet realize it for quite a while)
-Alix (Exarch: Mesembria, who she is now dating)
-Elian (Exarch: Messel)
The new gods were heavily foreshadowed from not only the beginning of this campaign but also last campaign as well.

Isha also got his very own playlist Isha Playlist

Season 2.2
why do we skip from season 1 to 2 so rapidly? *shrug*

Prologue and Universe Factz:

Anya and Helorie’s wedding met with quite a lot of disaster halfway through. While Anya and Helorie snuck off to the throne room so that Helorie could sit on the throne, Xander once again attacked the city with his army, hoping to strike when they were the most vulnerable and concentrate his forces.
Xander went to deal personally with Anya and Helorie, and caught them unprepared.He swiftly devoured Helorie’s soul, and Anya flipped the fuck out, destroying the universe momentarily.
She was sent to before the beginning of time (or she simply now existed in the constant place outside of linear time- I extrapolate on this idea in the Xander playlist) and stayed there for a very long time. After a while, she tried manifesting her soul, and in doing so, the universe was created. The manifestation of Anya’s soul is the universe and Anya herself is also the universe.
It was also revealed that Aaia, the first god, was created as an experiment by the subselves of the Primordials (the elementals), and Father was the afterbirth of that, existing outside of the universe (Anya). While Aaia rebelled against her creators, she needed the attention of powerful beings to survive. She fell into deep despair at the thought she would soon die, and in that despair she met Father and he impregnated her in a dream.
Once the other gods were born, they captured and edited Proto-Melkar and Proto-Setelli in an attempt to control them and have them turn her into a creature that didn’t need attention to survive. They couldn’t. Father then invented something that would allow a creature to give more “powerful” attention than it would normally suggest, an engine that would create more energy than it took in. This engine was the soul, and would allow mortals to “feed” the gods with very powerful attention.
They fought the war with the Primordials so the primordials would create these creatures. In the end, the Gods and Primordials made peace and collaborated to create The Eternal Compact (life/death) that would create souls, assign them to bodies upon their birth, and take them away upon their death.
Anyway, Anya’s The Starry One, and technically a goddess, though her soul is formatted in a very different way than most gods. Okay, for a moment, let’s imagine a god-soul (which isn’t really a soul as we know it) as a soul with a giant hole in the middle of it, allowing attention to come from different people and go inside the soul, nourishing it. The entire universe is Anya’s soul, and she automatically gains attention from all living beings, making her incredibly powerful. A former mortal soul is like a mortal soul (capable of producing vast amounts of attention) with a hole drilled in it. This is why although once-mortal gods can get very sick from a lack of attention, they can’t actually die.

Maelys Kills Xander:
Anyway so Anya, now the incredibly powerful Starry One, finally arrives back in the present day after having to live through the entire lifespan of the universe up until now. She returns to the fight with Xander and weakens him incredibly and generally. kicks his ass. She was going to let him go for bullshit reasons until Maelys shows up, sees Helorie dead and Anya as a Giant Woman and implodes Xander. Xander dies, there’s blood everywhere, Maelys becomes a goddess.
She decides to be the goddess of Good Decisions, Equality, Understanding, and Insight, which is real helpful since we needed one of them.
Sebastian is incredibly upset that his son is dead but knows that Maelys needs his aid and support more than ever, and accepts Maelys’s offer to become her exarch.
The rest of the invasion goes about as well as you’d think and ends with Illiam, the now leader of Hell, ordering his troops to flee. During this event Ekaterina is also returned to her home. Illiam, for reasons still unclear, is now a god. He becomes the God of Loss, Suffering, War, and Daemonkind. The Daemons are a new species he creates.

Meet the Old Roommate….
It’s the new semester! Jeh is ready to meet her new roomie, as is Sol (they are no longer roommates). Jeh meets her new roomie… it’s Alix! She’s back! cheers and confetti
Sol’s new roommate is the rude lady, Eva.
Not much else happened in that episode. Sponde coughed up a second sponde, Elete, who is very similar to Sponde only Elete is green. Eva got possessed by something and attacked Ekaterina, who is now going to school here. Mehtap is still the girls’ roomie.

The Team Tryouts:
The folks decide to try out for the new teams. This episode has very little plot. Team 1 ends up being Jeh, Alix, Mesembria, and Etsuko, with Messel as the team adult, and Team 2 ends up being Rakin (who is no longer a giant crab and now goes to college in a story that would take a very long time to explain), Solstice, Boneko, Ekaterina, and Valentina as team adult.
They then have a party and train to fight.

The Protests, Pt 1:
This was a two-part, maybe even three-part episode. Recently there have been a lot of conflicts in the Dragonlands, with Kobolds trying to escape and rise up against their Dragon masters. There have has also been a lot of pressure placed on the Uldoki government to free the intelligent robots in this country and give them full citizenship.
There was a protest on campus vs people who thought that robots couldn’t be people and who had issues with the government defining personhood, and robots and their allies. So basically the people who were anti-robot freedom showed up first, then the robots joined up to counter-protest, and their kobold allies tried to join and support them, but then various dragons came to counter-protest the kobolds. However, Lebert, the leader of the Dragon Club, doesn’t want the Dragon Club to join because she thinks that Kobolds should be free.
There’s one really racist dragon, Kassek-sshar, an old Gold Dragon who’s also a dragon racist and has been harassed hybrid dragons on campus, including his fellow Professors. Honestly the dude is for slavery in general, and was a professor who Xander was greatly influenced by when he went to school here centuries ago. He’s leading the dragons minus Lebert. Sol comforts Lebert who is upset about her club becoming a meeting ground for racists, when all she wanted was dragon-sized dorms, maybe a Draconic Culture week on campus, maybe giant steaks in the dining hall.
They join the kobolds, who are happy to have some support from friendly dragons. It just goes to prove their point that the way that dragons treat people needs to change.
The robot professor who owned the JubJub bird confronts Jeh over the bird theft and the loss of a vast amount of money, 100,000 GP spent on the bird. He asks Jeh why she’s willing to help them protest but not do something to actually help robots. After Jeh refuses to help him multiple times over, telling the man that she’s done with that part of her past, Solstice agrees to help the robot professor get his bird back.
They meet Javier, who is a mixed dragon, as was his father. He’s half silver, half blue, half white. He was a professor and a member of the Dragon Club, but Kassek-sshar wasted the club’s time criticizing and insulting Javier.
They met Tekila, leader of the kobolds club and an art student, a junior, I think? One of the dragons in the original dragon club goes to fight Tekila because he finds one of her protest posters blasphemous, and ends up fighting Sol instead.
The protest is disbanded eventually because they didn’t file the proper protest forms. Professor Kassek-sshar says they will come back in a week (10 days) with the proper forms and protest once more.

The Jubjub Returns
Sol is going to help the robot professor, whose name is Lebar Kurim. She goes to Forfax, who is the leader of the animal club and asks if she can get the money back. Forfax says the money has been spent already, and it turns out the animal club bought a bunch of dinosaurs with the money and is starting their very own jurassic park, called the Dinosaurium. (Dinosaurs are still alive on Kenisal in this universe).
Forfax is not a fan of the Dinosaurium but he only had a single vote and couldn’t vote against it.
They went to visit Cassandra and Bara, and Forfax asks them to give him his money for the bird. Cassandra is very against this, covering the jubjub bird’s head and telling them not to say such things in front of the bird. The bird is happy living with Bara, and when Lebar arrives, doesn’t like him very much. He doesn’t want to be bathed with milk and drink wine from golden bowls anymore, and is upset that Lebar is a robot.
Bara is upset by this and the bird refuses to tell them who started him with anti-robot sentiments. After Sol trying to explain to the bird that he should accept Lebar, Jubjub reveals that the source of his feelings is Danill, and they later go and argue with Danill.
Later Sol goes to a meeting of the animals club and argues with the people there. There are 6 people who are on the E-Board of the club, and at least 4 must approve something for it to take effect. Therefore, Sol must sway 4 of the members to sell the dinosaurs and return the money to Lebar.
The Animal Welfare person and VP are against it, and the Animal Welfare person decides to try and turn into a bird and unleash the dinos. Sol catches her, and the club votes. They vote to sell the dinosaurs and give Lebar back his money over time.
It is revealed the dinosaurs come from a dinosaur farm where they were being abused. In the end, Lebar decides to settle for 50,000 and the T-Rex, Betsy. I hope they’re ready to have adventures together.
Forfax wants to keep some of the raptors, and Maris buys one to be her mount and to ride off into the sunset upon.

The Protest: Part 2
The kobolds, robots, and allies join together at a meeting to discuss their counter-protest at the second protest a week later. They discuss strategies, who will bring the food, and chants/songs. They meet Javier’s life partner, Chandra, and Krenmyr is there too (Krenmyr originally appeared at the orphanage fundraiser with eir husband Mazin).
After eating some delicious corn puffs, they go home. Eva, still Sol’s roomie and involved in the anti-robot side of the protest, warns Solstice not to come to the protest but can’t give any actual details.
Nine days after the last protest, a day before the second protest was about to happen, Messel goes to tell Sol, Jeh, and Alix that they changed the day of the protest! Yikes! The protestors on the side of the robots and kobolds are attempting to gather, but are having trouble coming together and are not prepared as they wanted to be. Professor Kassek-sshar goes to confront Tekila, asking her if she has a permit. She got a permit, but for the next day, and Kassek-sshar threatens to call the police due to her lack of a protest permit. Sol offers to run and go get a new permit.
After a brief bureaucratic adventure and fighting a racist woman in the provost’s office, she finally gets it and returns to the group. Elato made a bean sprout sandwich in an attempt to befriend Jeh, who he thought for unclear reasons was lactose intolerant. Jeh refuses it initially before accepting it. Aeshtar summons the debate stage and Tekila and Kassek-sshar take the stage, “like David and Goliath if that was a metaphor that existed in this world.”
Tekila delivers a thrilling opening argument, and Kassek-sshar responds by trying to mentally dominate the entire crowd to think the way he thinks. Those affected by it hear an argument on why kobolds and constructs should not be treated as equals that somehow magically convinces them. This stops the debates in the tracks as Tekila begins to sob, one of the many people mentally affected by this dragon professor. Aeshtar declares the debate over and the professor’s supporters begin to sing “for he’s a jolly good dragon”
Jeh, in this episode the voice of reason (why) was not effected and instead convinces Sol to call up her mom and tell her about her new beliefs. Javier runs away from the protest just as Maelys shows up. Maelys casts Break Enchantment on people, making them able to see the flaws and inaccuracies in the argument and finally return to their old beliefs. Once this is revealed, Aeshtar threatens to sanction him if he violates the code of the academic debate one more time, but Maelys points out that members of the royal family were attacked and that’s treason, and while Aeshtar can’t fire Kassek-sshar due to his tenure, but calls the actual police.
Maelys eventually goes to find and unspell the people who ran from the protests after their new beliefs. She meets Javier, and unspells him and tells him she will work very hard to make sure Kassek-sshar is convicted of treason and the Philosophy department gets a new, better head professor.
She then goes to meet Cassandra and Danill and speak to them about what’s happened. It seems that Kassek-sshar has been in a very good positon to spread his beliefs, being able to talk to hundreds of impressionable minds a year. Kassek-sshar is sent to moon prison for his crimes.

The Saga of The Old People
While Sol and Jeh are on their way to a campus party, they are approached by a gaggle of old people. They ask the two of them to directions to various places, and finally the Advanced Weapon Research Center. They meet a graduate student there, who tells them the Advanced Weapon Research Center is not open to the general public, but who after some mind control from the old people is willing to give them a tour. All the projects here are funded by the Uldoki Government.
The Grad Student, Tim, first takes them to the Magical Weapon Research Lab. They see machines that are supposed to enchant magical weapons, swords enchanted with a bare amount of magical energy, a sword that shoots tiny balls of fire, and magical weapons that are not actually made with magic.
Next is the wand room. They have wands here of more powerful spells, a wand gun that shoots the spells within wands, and self recharging staves and wands. Tim briefly mentions that the Tsar was very pleased with this project when he visited, and that he shut down the Birds project, working on creating robotic birds that could fight Uldok’s enemies and blow themselves up when needed. They weren’t real birds, only bird shaped and bird disguised, but Helorie shut it down in Tim’s opinions because “his family likes birds a lot”.
They go to the next room, the simulation room, which originally looks like the Windows XP default wallpaper but can simulate battles between any armies in the world. In the room after that there are guns that don’t need reloading, bows that don’t need arrows or strings, and explosive arrows. Finally, the aged people get angry that Tim didn’t show them the ultra-top-secret weapons, and demands they show them the real stuff. Tim, still mind controlled, decides to show it to them. They enter the basement lab. There’s an advanced suit of power armor with integrated weapons and wand slots, designed for 6’2” Helorie and which 5’6” Tim the Grad Student cannot wear. There’s the Mega-Disruptor, which if turned on will cause very painful and ear-damaging sounds. it a big egg . There’s a rack of magical weapons. Finally, the Annihilator Mini-Cannon, which hovers over your shoulder and shoots holes in whoever you designate. The leader of the old people gains control of this cannon and kills poor, innocent Tim with it.
Sol is finally struck out of the old people’s mind control, and she and Jeh fight them. Geraldine, the second in command of the old people, fires beams at the old people that strip away years of their lives. Eventually the group gains control of the cannon and defeats the aged. A handsome drow professor named Karr shows up a few minutes later, alerted by the sirens and the military arrests the old people.
They take Sol and Jeh to see Helorie, in the process of making a giant rainbow battlesuit for reasons that were never quite explained. They tell him the story and Helorie suggests that Sol can probably afford life-extension treatments while Jeh should probably become a lich.

Adventures of the Mail Lady
The next day Sol and Jeh get their mail. It’s from one of the richer neighborhoods in town, near where Markus lives. The person has heard of Sol and Jeh’s plight and wishes to help them. They go to this man’s house and a butler opens the door for them. The man’s name is Doctor H. He has a giant picture in his home of Sebastian holding a spear, stepping on top of a giant orb. A silver-haired tiefling man with a cane is revealed to be Dr. H, or Dr Izak Harley. It turns out the old people used to work for him, harvesting years of life from criminals and selling them to people “more deserving” of them. He tells them that he found out about their plight because had to have crystals made to show whenever the old people used their abilities. He tells them that he can perform a treatment to steal years from the old woman who stole them and transfer them back to their bodies.
As this is illegal in Uldok (they used to live in Halik, a city in Sebbie’s old hell), they’ll have to break Geraldine out of prison, and get equipment so they can unwillingly transfer years from her back into Sol and Jeh.
The two of them go to the hospital that was stealing souls and bluff that they are trying to make sure all of the equipment used to steal souls was properly removed from the hospital. The receptionist gets the two of them a Government Official pass and a map. They find what they think are the machines after a long search and bring them back to Dr. H. Dr H explains that he could make the machines from these parts, if he had the help of a Grammarist. The group gets Messel to help. Finally, they go to the basement with Dr. H and Messel. They see a large painting, painted by the Dr, a truly hideous painting, of Sebastian stabbing Valana in the heart with a spear. Messel and Dr. H work to make the machine, but in the end Dr. H betrays them, releasing the sleep gas into the room. Sol is the only one who stays awake, and she fights the butler in an exciting butler fight. The sleeping gas explodes, killing Messel and Jeh. Dr. H tries to escape into his own personal tunnel with a minecart, and Sol chases him. She turns into a dragon to try and crush him. Dr. H is trying to escape into his boat. It turns out he was actually the head of The Halik Runners, a criminal organization in Halik that could supply you with anything.
They go back to the house and the firefighters are there. They arrest both Dr. H and Sol, and put Sol into the Cube of Justice, a giant hovering Uldoki Police Cube.
Helorie finally shows up to free Sol from the Cube of Justice. He listens to Sol’s story and explains what he found out about the criminal Old People, who it seems are now Father Cultists.

Season 1, Act 1
From beginning to the end of the hospital bit

We open on the University of Kirov, Uldok’s primer educational institution, and are introduced to our characters.
-Jeh Deva, a tiefling. The GM will not realize that Deva is her last name for months, and will assume that she just has two first names. Jeh is a sorcerer and occasionally punches people.
-Alix, a sky pirate. She is a winged person, but cannot yet fly.
-Alome, another tiefling. She is the child of a cambion and Ehimay, a veteran of the War of Divine Liberation.
There are two more major characters that are introduced with them…
-Isha, a demigod. He is Alome’s brother. Biologically he is her half brother but also her twin. His divine father is Oppo, god of animals.
-Nadir, a dragon. He is a medusa in public. He and Isha met once before and were awful friendly then. ;0

A boring man who is apparently named Karol makes a speech about the school year. Then he explains that freshmen must all play an elaborate game that is not an excuse for combat. Nope. Freshlings are placed into teams of 3. Obviously, our three main characters are placed on a team. They are sent to their faculty coach, a guidance counselor who will take them to the battlezone. That man is-
-Messel, an assel. He is an octoman and a professor of Arcane Engineering. He is trying to invent the internet. His father is Isha and Alome’s cousin.
Messel explains the frankly brutal game the team must play. Each team is given an orb. They must protect this orb while trying to smash the other team’s orb. It is like capture the flag, but with potentially lethal violence and orbs.
The team vaguely understands the game. Now they must go to their rooms. Jeh’s roomie is someone frankly nobody cares about. Alix is roommates with a girl named Mesembria, who has a pet known as Sponde.
-Mesembria, a vexan. She is an architecture student. She is on a team with Isha and Nadir. She is notable primarily for her ownership of Sponde.
-Sponde, the best character.
Alome’s roomie is her cousin Markus’s daughter, Adrianna.
-Adrianna, a tiefling semigod. She loves fire and hates… a lot of things.
Adrianna is a brat and tries to boss the team around. She sets Sponde on fire and the team throws her in a fountain. Then they meet the RA, Mehtap.
-Mehtap, a unicorn. It is later implied she is the reincarnation of Tsar Dmitri the Great. She loves storks.
The party goes to a dance and Isha and Nadir get awfully close. Alome threatens to stab Nadir for getting close to her brother. At some point they ditch Alome and kiss.

Messel attempts to be a good coach and train the team. He invites them to the gym. There they will fight a team led by a cat woman, Valentina.
-Valentina, a cat woman. She is a professor of astronomy and has the hots for Messel. (the hots are mutual)
The gang attempts the game. Messel and Valentina are so bad at explaining things that the team does not understand the rules, and thinks the other team is on their side. Eventually, they destroy an orb.
Suddenly, a murder is reported, in this very building. The police come and tell everyone to stay here. Coach Vemen, coach of the “Sportsball” team, was the one killed.
Suddenly again, there are screams! Alix runs to investigate. Mesembria is being attacked by a thing! Alix stabs it to death. The gang investigates the thing. They find out there are some sort of demonic sacrifices or summonings going on in the bathroom. /Great./
The team leaves to investigate. They find out a drow man named Sedarin may be responsible. Sedarin has apparently killed before. He’s really into vigilante justice for never-explained reasons.
The team goes to look up Coach Vemen on the compupter. Apparently in addition to coaching “sportsball”, he also coaches “Ball Sports”, tennis, table tennis, pickleball, and “badmiteen”.
The team goes to the gymnasium to see if there’s anyone there who knows about the coach. They see students throwing balls through small, handheld hoops, counting as they do so. Jeh asks one of them about the coach. Apparently he has not been here for long, and pays the students to be on a team. This is even more suspicous when the team learns that he lives in Messel’s lousy apartment complex!
The team goes to investigate. Alix picks the lock and they go inside the apartment. There is a young man named Raden inside the bathtub, tied up. He tells them about how the coach told him they had to take it to the next level, extra training. Raden agreed and he woke up here. He is distressed to hear the coach is dead, because now they will get no prize money.
They put Raden in Messel’s apartment to rest. They attempt to comfort him, and cook him food. Jeh tries to operate Messel’s rice cooker.
She fails.
Rice explodes from the rice cooker. It seeps out of its every crack, nook, and pore. The rice cooker is dead. It has cooked its last. May flights of rice angels sing it to its rest. Messel is distraught. He loved the rice cooker. How will he get another? How will he eat his rice now?
Alome tries to help the man and wash him off. I think she was flirting with him but I am the last human who can recognize flirting. Alix runs back to the department to get Raden clothes, and finds counterfeit money there, too.
It turns out Raden’s mother has cancer, and the fake money is paying for her treatments. However, if the money is discovered to be fake, she may be executed!! Alome prays to her space dad to see if space aunt can heal Raden’s mother. Space dad agrees to at least ask space aunt. Thanks, space dad.
It turns out Raden forgot that the coach is dead, and is distressed to hear the news once more. He sobs. The coach was his only friend. It’s hard being from the colonies. It’s hard and noone understands.
The gang decides not to report what they’ve found to the police. The Coach was a bad man and probably deserved to die.

This happened the same night as the second half of episode 2, but frankly, it’s logically a separate part.
Adrianna moves out and Jeh moves in. Markus is introduced as Adrianna’s beleaguered, picked on dad.
-Markus, an asshole
Markus is both a jerk himself and yet picked on by his spoiled daughter. These facts are true simultaneously.
The team goes to the student involvement fair. Isha and Nadir are there too.
There are many clubs. Sailing club. Gun Club. Animal Club. Healer’s Club. Shimenese Student Organization. Dueling Club.
They then play the orb game again. Such begins the sequence of orb games where you can clearly see the other team’s orb, but there is another challenge to overcome.
The team gets a note, given to them by Mesembria when she is not feeding Sponde Sponde’s regular diet, miniature cupcakes. (yum)
The note is from a young woman who is apparently in danger. She offers to pay the party for her safety, 3,000 gp. Why didn’t she pay them more? idk.
They meet a woman in a turnip costume, who attempts to make the team give the Turnip Farmers of Phembria cash. When they refuse, she runs away sobbing. They meet another woman. It is revealed she is a robot and she wishes to escape to robot freedom in Sebbie’s hell (the nice hell). The gang agrees to help her. They will free her from her master, a half dwarf, half orc.

The Team is summoned by Messel to the battlezone once more. It’s time to practice with Dr. Elato Veani’s team of dwarves. Sadly, Dr. Veani is not here.
The battle begins. The only interesting thing we learn from it is that apparently Xander has his own petting zoo. Why does Xander need a petting zoo? Is this Sevvie foreshadowing before Sevvie was even a thoughtglimmer in our collective imaginations? Who knows, frankly.
After the team wins, Messel casually invites the team to a party. He does not know it yet, but it is the worst mistake he will make for many episodes.
The team goes to the party. It’s brunch. There are such foods as ostrich eggs and unbacon. Dr. Checkers is introduced and attempts to be nice to Alome.
Dr. Checkers, a Vlexinien Dr. Checkers is a friendly tentacled creature. It is genderfluid, but primarily identifies as agender and uses it pronouns while on Aaia. It has other pronouns it uses at various times.
Despite Dr. Checker’s friendly attempts, Alome is still cruel to it. It pretends something is burning and runs to go talk to Professor Palmer and your RA. Because this the summary and you all had to live through this, I see no point in disguising the fact that Prof. Palmer is Cecil from welcome to Night Vale, stolen.
Cecil Palmer, a stolen character A professor in many departments. Also a Kenisan.
Dr. Checkers complains about Alome to Cecil and Mehtap. Alome can speak Alko and is very rude to them. Alome literally spits at them and Cecil’s like fuck this. He apparently speaks “an unspeakable word.” I don’t know how he speaks it if it’s unspeakable, but we didn’t question it at the time.
Alome flies into a bloodthirsty rage and attacks Isha. Cecil panicks. Dr. Checkers tries to grab Alome and fails. Messel tackles Alome to calm her down.
Alome leaves her rage and doesn’t know what happened… Isha runs away from her. Cecil, for gods know what reason, offers Alome hot chocolate and tea. Alome yells at Cecil and tells him he’s responsible for this. The gang returns to their room.
Mehtap shows up and tells the gang Isha is okay, and has been found. Isha is okay. Mehtap tells Alome her plan to kill the professor is not going to work. Come on Alome. They’re levels higher than you.
Carlos shows up to attempt conflict mediation. Just like in WTNV, he is cecil’s boyfriend. Despite the fact that Mehtap literally said Isha was found, we all somehow forgot this and decided we had to go look for Isha. Carlos offers to help. Thanks Carlos.
The Isha Hunt begins. Nadir shows up to help! The team looks all over campus. They find isha. He’s okay! Alome is feeling too bad about Isha to come and help. She’s very deeply upset about what she’s done.
Nadir is worried about Isha. They discuss what happened. Meanwhile Alome and Jeh bond and discuss Isha, stabbing people, and their educational careers. Jeh makes Alome bacon. It is a touching moment.
Nadir thinks this all has to do with politics. Messel is frustrated by this. He hopes it doesn’t have to do with politics. His theory is that Cecil was mind controlled, because according to Mehtap, he’s not the sort of person to do this. Clearly this was set up for some political reason. Nadir comes back and talks to Carlos. Carlos confirms that something is up with Cecil, probably.
Alome is talking with Jeh and considering whether or not to come out and talk with Isha. Jeh gives beeptiful advice and eventually, Alome shows up. She and Isha hug it out. Alome begins to cry.
The gang decides to go visit Cecil to get to the bottom of this. What truly happened here? They arrive at Cecil’s apartment and Cecil offers them tea. It is revealed that Cecil simply doesn’t remember the party at all. Ominous!!! Cecil appologizes to Isha (and Alome, even if she isn’t there) and offers to make things right. Oppo is dialed up on the Oppophone. They have a useless conversation with him.
The end!!

=Episode 5: Beer Pong=
I will summarize this episode very briefly because my summaries are getting too long. The gang has a beer pong tournament in their room. Mehtap isn’t invited since she’s a loser. “hey, we didn’t want mehtap here because she’s our R.A.” Youth Drinking is not illegal, this is 1900 and fake russia.
We learn that Sponde is terrible at beer pong.
The half-orc half dwarf man shows up, and Alix challenges him to beer pong.
Alome escorts Tunder safely to the safe place. The dorc man flirts with Mesembria and makes very rude comments about Sponde’s weight. Sponde is deeply offended.
Mehtap tries to come to the party again and is rejected once more. She leaves in sorrow to have a cool party with storky.

=Episode 6: The Tournament Begins=
Another one I shall summarize very quickly.
The gang has the first game of the real tournament, and loses because they don’t understand the rules. There are a few great conversations before this, like the one where Messel suggests Alome buy a weasel sled.
They then go to a dungeon and fight things. Alix gets filth fever, a subplot which is never followed up on.

=Episode 7: Hospital From Hell: Pt. 1=
The team learns about their senatorial candidates. Markus, Messel’s uncle. Vamaria, a reasonable dwarf woman with another fuckign VA-A name. Liu Taizhi, a utopian psychic. Vivander Ivanov, who the next plot vaguely involves. This is the first and potentially the last time the characters will ever be described being in class, despite the fact they go to college.
Mehtap comes bringing news. Carlos, yes that Carlos, wants the gang to investigate a murder of two professors. They were investigating deaths at the one of the local hospitals when they were murdered. Lana Viven and Verden Viven. Almost a thousand people have died at that hospital under mysterious circumstances….
The team goes to investigate. Alome stays at home.
The team encounters a young ghost child named Alice. Alice doesn’t know what’s going on, or that she is a ghost. She explains she was brought here by gnomes, who she describes as being killed in the same way as the professors. The party does not put two and two together. She says the gnome professors were killed by men in blue outfits.
The party attempts to find Alice’s moms. They eventually find out where one of them lives, and go to her house. There they find Alice’s grandmother, who discusses Alice’s death with them. It is explained that Alice went to the hospital because of a broken leg on the bike grandma got her for her birthday, but caught a disease there and died. Jeh is rude to the old woman and she slams the door in their face. Alix and Jeh find Alice’s mother, Alice Sr, and tell Alice that she is dead. Small Alice is in denial, and tells her mom she wants to play.
The gang enters a room containing a biohazard container, a chamber with Alice’s corpse inside, and a bunch of pictures.
Alix goes to look at the pictures. They depict of doctors in air masks working on patients who are coughing up black stuff, of big cylinders of black gook, of rooms with people burning inside, of pipes with black things inside, similar to what Alice is holding, of babies, either pure white (albino) or pure black, each of them numbered. Alix goes to look in the biohazard container, which is full of sludge and vomit.
She finds a baby.
The baby is pure white, with black eyes. Enscarred on his chest is #26. Alix attempts to hand the baby off to Big Alice, but she is frightened by the baby. Alix thinks the baby is okay. She is not a baby expert, but she will take care of it for now. Alix decides to name the baby Morty.
Alix carries the baby as they go into the next room. They find a bunch of corpses holding things, a floating humanoid with pitch black skin, and a big chamber with a skinned humanoid. Alice says that the floating humanoid used to be a baby, but something was done to him to make him big. He is floating in like a tube of liquid or something.
Alice explains that the things the corpses are holding are souls. She then proceeds to tell a completely different story about how the gnome researchers died, which as I reread is technically compatible with the first story. Alice explains the former baby (though aren’t we all) is named Vana. The party decides to call him Vara instead. He is mute, but knows sign language.
The party stops investigating here and decides to deal with Morty. They go to the baby zone and buy baby supplies. Then they find someone who knows sign language and Vara’s story is told.

“Vara says that he was born at the hospital, and that his mother died during childbirth. He was the first of many babies who was born in an unusual way. As it is commonly beleived that the Divine Compact gives each life a soul at their birth, there is something at the hospital that interfers with this process. A soul collector, of sorts. As he was born, the soul was taken right out, to the point where even if he was given his soul back, it simply wouldn’t fit anymore. Like giving someone someone else’s soul.”
“The two gnomes who were murdered explained this to him when they took him from the hospital. The doctors at the hospital experiemented on Vara, so he would grow up far quicker than a unsual child, and so they could study him.”

Vara tells them that he wants them to find out what happened with the researchers.
They agree. They then buy Vara a communication board. and explain things to Messel. They will find out what happened in the hospital… next session

Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.


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