Campaign Bad Decisions
The War of Divine Liberation
If you’ve been reading the other myths in order, you may have been like, “Wow, Aaia is such a shitty leader. Why didn’t someone just burn her to death? Why the fuck did they keep allowing her to be leader of the gods?”
The answer is they didn’t, and this is that story.
Some “needed” background:
The beginning of the cosmos and the troubles between the gods Creation Myth
The name’s misleading, it’s actually about god drama Mostly Elf Myth
Not as required reading as the other two, but useful for witch stuff The Story of the Spirits
A hell summary, which is actually kind of spoilery (read it after this) The Three Hells
Part 1: Setup
The events you are about to read took place a very long time ago.
In this age, Phembria was an collective of seven nations, separated from the rest of the world by the Dragonridge Mountains to the south and the seas to all other sides. Deeply loyal to Aaia, there were seven sacred cities that were the holiest places of her worship. Orcs, goblins, and all so-called savage races were deeply oppressed. Tieflings were kept in prisons, and slain if they escaped.
Uldok was loyal to a tyrannical Tsar, who oppressed his people and made many of them slaves, punishing others with limb removal. He, too, was loyal to Aaia.
There were four Xiaomenese countries, each ruled by a leader who was ok at best.
Zharn was a pretty ok place. Good job, Orred.
Lut was under much oppression by the servants of the gods, who used it as a playground and leeched its natural resources.
Hell was under Alexil’s rule, and was generally hellish, though that’s really to be expected.
The abominations were doing fine.
Part 2: The Council of Setelli
Setelli the all-seeing had known from the beginning of Aaia’s unjust ways. She assembled a council of like-minded deities and beings to discuss a plot to bring war. They would strike Aaia in all sectors, disabling her power and growing their own before a direct attack. All those gathered agreed to the plot and its secrecy.
It is not known all who attended this secret council, which may have actually been a series of councils, but Setelli, Melkar, Pallistar, Karik, and Maliste (the Queen of Hell) were all in on it at the ground floor.
They began to put their plan in motion.
Part 3: Change in Phembria
Karik saw the power amongst her orcs, and saw that one, Arka the Unbroken, had assembled many of the tribes into a great band. In a blood dream she told Arka to go out and conquer the most holy Phembrine city of Aaia, Dai. She told Arka that she would have Karik’s full support, strength, and if she completed this test, the rest of the nation Dai was the capitol of would fall. Arka assembled all the warriors of all the tribes1 and they swarmed the holy city, taking it down before Aaia could even react. Arka descecrated Aaia’s holy temple before burning it to the ground and building another temple to Karik.
Many of the male orcs, who were not permitted to be warriors in this time, actually settled down in Dai or the other cities and towns Arka’s warbands conquered. Now that they knew all the warriors would protect them, they were free to start shit like agriculture and the like. The Orcs developed their own civilization, Jarek, and their power only grew. The additional resources allowed them to expand their military, train them longer, and heal them when they were beat down. The Orcs expanded their gaze to all of Phembria, hoping to conquer it in the name of their goddess. Jarek also accepted members of many other races, especially goblinoids.
Despite their protection in Jarek, orcs, goblinoids, and similar races were actually oppressed more in the other parts of Phembria. They were seen as potential spies, and nobody liked them much anyway.
1 Okay, let’s be real: Orcs are not the best at strategy or backup plans.
Part 4: Change in Lut
The nobles who ruled much of lut were installed by Aaia, many being of angelic blood. The eight great spirits still watched this planet in their mortal forms, but they were killed, and had to come into the world again. In this incarnations, their names were Scula, Pippin, Gala, Luxe, Chrysal and Iris. They were the witches of Magic, Flora, Chaos, Beauty, Fauna and Weather, respectively. They met as children, but they were separated before they could realize their past lives. Their lives took many different turns, but they eventually came together again in events that I’m sure would make a stellar My Little Pony fanfiction. Sadly, before they could be mentored by them, the spirits of the Sun and Moon were killed. It is very hard to be mentored by babies.
These six witches decided that they and their planet would no longer be treated as the plaything of the gods, and that they would war directly against them and their servants. So the God Witch War begun.
Part 5: Change in Uldok
A revolution of the people, lead by Dmitri Alkavov, sought to overthrow the Tsar. Dmitri was the child of Maliste and descendant of Melkar and Setelli, making him a tiefling and a demigod, and he had lost all his limbs, save for his stork-like wings, to the old Tsar’s forces. The people embraced him even more because of these traits, seeing him as a living symbol against the gods and the Tsar. Dmitri was also a very powerful mage, considered by many the most powerful who ever lived. In the final battle, the people swarmed the capitol city of Kirov, overcoming the Imperial Forces. Dmitri himself bashed the old Tsar’s head in with his own scepter, proclaiming himself the new ruler of Uldok. He installed his brother, the lich Helorie, as Vizier, and began fulfilling his promises of freedom, prosperity, and education for all.
Part 6: The God Witch War
By the time we return to these witches, three of them had died. Gala had been killed by a solar angel of Aaia and her flock, Luxe had been betrayed by her lover and slain, and Scula had vanished while casting a powerful spell, the supposed doing of Melkar and Setelli.
The remaining three witches, trying to survive without their unofficial leader, still hoping to win the war (they had conquered a significant amount of Lut), went to a ruler who was in a similar place- the new Tsar of Uldok. He saw his struggle in theirs, and vise versa, and agreed to ally with them. This alliance was soon cemented with promises of marriage between Chrysal and the Tsar- a proposal that had actually come from love, not politics.
Part 7: The Birth of Pure Magic
An unusual ship came from Phembria to Uldok, carrying an unusual band of misfits. Of course they were the PCs. Look, sadly, we only care about two of them (everyone’s favorite murderer comes later) for this summary. There are many stories to be told about Mike, but this is not the time. There are many stories to be told about Gertrude, but this is a family-friendly website2.
The two people who will play significant roles in this story are Maelys Trishar, also known as Trisvet3 and Sebastian Nesline, the son of Alexil and therefore the Prince of Darkness4.
When they arrived in Uldok, their plans were to see if the Tsar would want alliance with their king. The Tsar didn’t, but lied and said he would think about it if they went to visit Melkar and Setelli. These gods had told him to come over and visit5 for the last few weeks, and since Maelys was an oracle of both gods, he figured they probably wouldn’t blow her to smithereens.
Maelys and the others went to visit. There they met with Melkar and Setelli, who unveiled their plan. They had Scula inside a giant glass tube, filled with their divine blood, and only needed a spark of divine power, like that found in a relic, to ignite Scula’s inner divinity. The party fetched it for them, and Scula ascended to divinity, the goddess of Pure Magic, Friendship, and Twilight.
2“Didn’t you use the world fuck several times on this page?” FMAIYL FREIDNLY
3“Isn’t Trisvet her real name” look i had to look it up so ALSO KNOWN AS TRISVET
4It is good to know but useless for the point of this narrative that Sebastian had no clue his dad was THE Devil.
5“great grandson, you never call” “i baked you some cookies, they’re in the shapes of little books” “melkar, make storks next time” “but then he won’t eat them”
Part 8: Weddings Completed, 1/3
The problem with this story is that it’s all important. It is an interlocking system of madness. Useless things build on top of unimportant things but then important things are built on top of them.
So let’s talk about the wedding.
Chrysal and the Tsar finally got married, and by this time Ehimay, punter of babies6 had joined the party. Scula had come back to Uldok in avatar form to be with the fellow witches (she was no longer technically one of the witches, but they didn’t know that yet), and the Tsar, shrewd as always, assigned the diviner Monroe to be her constant companion in the palace, and do anything she wishes. He influenced her mind to be cruel to Monroe, and that she would always seek to have him around her. This would be so that he would gain the power of true magic and the Tsar would have a pure magician somewhere on his staff. However, what the Tsar did not know was that Monroe would be Scula’s exarch. Ever since the gods were sent to their own realm, each god has had an exarch (some of the exarchs existed before then, like Rakin, but they weren’t exarchs yet). Exarchs are each the heralds of a deity who are closest to them, and through this closeness they gain special power. Monroe was the only person who Scula’s magic would latch onto, so he became her exarch. The wedding seemed to be going nicely. Scula was Maid of Honor and Helorie was Best Man. However, shortly after the vows, assassins attacked! Two of the flower girls, Marie and Not-Scootaloo were turned into vampires for god knows what reason and the third flower girl, Pippin’s little sister Camillia, was kidnapped! The Tsar ordered Maelys and the rest of the team to investigate and find out who the hell had done this. They discovered it was assasins.
Later Maelys decided to confront the Tsar about Scula’s behavior, but it was revealed that not only he knew, but he was at fault. Maelys was furious and yelled at the Tsar before going to tell Monroe the bad news. Monroe was deeply upset but hid his feelings because he’s Monroe. Eventually Chrysal found out and the Tsar had to sleep on the couch on his wedding night.
61. I know he hadn’t punted any yet. 2. “will ehimay ever live that down?” no.
Part 9: Trip to Shimen
The PCs went to the Shimenese country of Haimen (no, it’s not pronounced like that) to discover the assasins. On the way they met the young scholar Atl and learned about the Couatl, which Atl eventually became. The gang committed many social faux paus and ran into one of Sebastian’s old prison buddies 7 and his sister, who hit on mike for gods know what reason. Eventually they confronted the assassins and learned they were paid by the ruler of Anmen, Chancellor Centehua, and a mysterious couatl who would turn out to be Aaia’s avatar.
The gang went back and there was a big council.
7 old prison buddies yeah right
Part 10: The Twin Terrorists
Now, the Tsar was no fan of religion and the gods. So he demanded that all churches pay taxes, unless they provided a charitable service to the community. Many churches did provide charitable services, so the Tsar exempted them, but the largest church in Kirov, which was still a church of Aaia, just refused to pay taxes. The Tsar sent many people to collect the fucking taxes, so they retaliated by burning down a temple. It does not say in my notes who the temple was of, so I will assume it is of Setelli until proven wrong.
The Tsar said to himself “this looks like a job for the pcs” and so they went. The church was staffed by twin priests, Iliam and Elian. Maelys, ruiner of mysteries, realized that it was the brothers, as well as an accomplice, Jason Aber. Jason was the previous owner of Monroe from section 8. He was a former noble whose boyfriend had been killed in the revolution, trying to stop the new Tsar’s forces.
The party knew there was an angel who was on the side of the twin terrorists, and eventually they would learn that angel was Elian himself, using transformative magic. Elian being an angel was a reference to an awful fanfiction known as “A Vision of Heaven” in which Elian is in fact, an angel, but again not actually a real angel and using transformative psychic powers. 8
“and ulmer was there too”
8 “who writes fanfiction about mind over matter?” “i do” “but… you’re the author” “i know” “okay i think you are missing the key concept of fan fiction”
Part 11: Things That Happened
Various adventures occurred during this time, and I shall summarize them briefly.
-The PCs went to school to learn about people who were trying to break into the royal vaults.
-The PCs broke Gala out of heaven prison so she could be resurrected.
-The PCs went to a secret underwater fortress and Helorie’s backstory was hinted at. This is the session where the party got cell phones (magic orbs)
-Ehimay got stabbed in the face and died.
-The PCs went to a town that was run by cultists of Aaia.
-The PCs went to a palace and retrieved much treasure and “The Deck of Many Things”
-The PCs unvelied Aaia’s entire plan.
Of these events, only the last one shall receive a slide all its own. 9
9 I am truly aware this is not a slideshow.
Part 12: Aaia’s Entire Plan